Drinking the Fire

Journal Entry of Ryven Krennel

Onboard Revelation-class Dreadnaught: "Princess Shalee"

Titus always used to refer to a certain feeling a man can get sometimes.  He finds himself caught between one difficult situation and another.  He said all a man can do when encircled in flames is to just drink the fire.  I feel I've been drinking the fire lately. 

I fell in a little over a year ago with someone that it was probably unwise to fall for.  We've flown together now for probably hundreds of patrols.  When the Knighthood fell apart, she was the reason I joined the Imperial Outlaws.  I've followed her all over this warzone, from one battle to the next.  Until less than a week ago, I kept my silence, and even got married to another woman.  Leela, probably the most insanely tough and courageous woman I know, sat me down and ended our marriage over it, because she saw what I didn't see.  She knew our lies were going to kill us in the long run, and that I had to finally just go for it.  So, I did. 

This was probably an insanely stupid thing to do.  But, what else could I do, really?  If I kept my silence, then what would that do?  I would stew and fester and wither, losing one love over another that I could never attain.  Now I've told her, and I am likely going to pay a steep price for this revelation.  Her rather charming boyfriend is not exactly going to be terribly friendly about this.  She already told him about my pronouncement of my feelings.  And I have been invited by said fiance to have a drink onboard his flagship.  I am likely walking into an evening of ample unpleasantries. 

So, here I am.  I find myself in a situation where everywhere I look, there are flames closing in.  The only option I have is to just drink the fire, and laugh at the devil.  I can't turn back now.