The concept of holy warriors, knights of faith, of singular devotion to one's deity and the martial prowess to defend the faith, strikes a chord within me. These are men and women of a cause. They live lives guided by a purpose. I would be lying if I said I wasn't inspired by such a romantic concept. Truly, I envy them their faith, their acceptance of principles without the burden of proof. Moreso, I envy their ability to act and know why they are acting in such a way. In effect, I envy them their clarity.
The question that then follows is: Do I have what it takes to take steps onto the Paladin's path? Could I conceive of a god? If such a god exists, surely he is hardly merciful. Then again, this god of the Amarr is merciful to the Amarr. It is the infidels, the heathens, the unbelievers, tainted by their sinful ancestral blood, that do not recieve mercy. Then again, from a novice view of Amarrian scripture, those that die in service to God, do gain entrance into paradise. Surely my service to this God would not go unrewarded. Then again, serving God solely for my own salvation is a selfish act, and as such, not service to God, but rather service to me. Fuck. I've been here at Mercy's Keep less than a week, and already I've spent more time contemplating the divine than I have in my entire life until now. I spend my spare hours in the library, reading the scriptures and smatterings of Amarrian historical texts. Perhaps someday soon I will be ready to embrace this noble tradition. There's nothing left for me in the State. The Federation would as soon kill me as welcome me. The Republic...well, we just won't even go there. The Empire is my new home, the Knighthood my new life. What do I have left?
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